Saturday, March 24, 2012

Arwen's Birth Story: Telling Jay

Ok, I don't know how long it will take me to do this, but my plan is to do a series of posts telling Arwen's birth story from the BFP (Big Fat Positive!) to her much anticipated arrival.  So, here's my first installment: Telling Jay....

It really all started, thanks to Wakefield, on the day Jay and I got married, July 26, 2008.  On the way home from the reception (yes, the RECEPTION), Wakefield asked me, "So, do you have a baby in your belly now?"  Apparently someone (not us) told him that once a couple got married, they had a baby.  Well, he took that quite literally and fully believed that, once the ceremony was over, a baby would suddenly appear in my belly!  Love that kid!  Anyway, I would have been all for starting right away, but with our marriage came a lot of changes--I moved away from my house and my family, left my job of ten years, became a wife and a step mom, all basically overnight.  Plus, we were renting a house from Jay's parents and trying to sell mine in SC, so financially, there was no way for us to afford a baby.  And, to be entirely honest, Jay wasn't 100% sold on the idea of having another baby.

After what seemed like forever, we were finally able to sell my house in SC (thanks a lot, terrible housing market!), and in the summer of 2010, we bought our house.  At that point, I was ready to move on the baby front, and I drug Jay with me kicking and screaming. I went off the pill before we even closed on the house and started using ovulation tests.  I knew that getting pregnant wouldn't happen over night, but that didn't make it any less disappointing each month when nothing happened.  After trying all summer and early fall, I was getting frustrated.  I guess it was only-child syndrome kicking in, but I was getting impatient (shocking for those of you who know me, I know!).  So, around September-October, we started backing off and taking a "whatever happens, happens" approach.

When our family birthday season rolled around, I didn't think there was any way I could be pregnant. Jay's birthday was on November 6th, Mom's on November 8th, and I was feeling fine.  Completely normal.  No nausea, no nothing.  My pants seemed a bit tight, but that's not all that unusual in my world, and I figured it would be too early for me to be gaining any weight from a pregnancy.  Then my birthday rolled around on November 16th, and I was late. Never in 34 years had I been late, but I didn't want to get my hopes up.  I mean, there was VERY LITTLE chance that I was pregnant, so I figured it was just a fluke.  I decided to wait until that Saturday, the 20th, and if I hadn't started, I would take a pregnancy test. I got up early Saturday morning (Jay was still snoring away), and no period, so I took the test.  First time in my life I had ever taken one, and way before the three minutes were up, it read "pregnant."

I did a quiet little happy dance in the bathroom, got ready, and crept quietly downstairs and out the door. I had always known how I would tell Jay I was pregnant: I was going to buy a Carolina onesie and give it to him.  Not very original, I know, but I felt it would be perfect for us.  So, I headed off to Wal-Mart, hoping Jay wouldn't wake up before I got back.  He didn't. I ended up buying a little 3-6 months Carolina sweatsuit that I felt like could work for a boy or a girl, on the outside chance we had a girl (ha, ha!). I came home, put the pregnancy test in the bottom of a gift bag, the outfit on top of that, and covered it up with some tissue.  Then I started trying to get Jay up.  I thought I would never get him downstairs!  He didn't want to get up, couldn't figure out why he needed to come downstairs--man, was he cranky!  When I finally got him down to the kitchen table, he was barely awake and very confused by the gift bag on the table, as his birthday had already passed.  When he pulled out the baby outfit, he wasn't quite awake enough to put it all together and just had a puzzled look on his face.  "There's more," I said, and he reached in and pulled out the pregnancy test. When he read it, his eyes bugged out of his head, and his mouth fell open.  It was complete disbelief!  After it all sank in, I asked if he was happy, and he said yes, at which point, I promptly burst into tears!

Eventually, Jay made me take another test "just to make sure," and it was positive, too, so we made a doctor's appointment.  Jay wanted to go to the doctor and have them do a test, "just to make sure" (do you see a pattern here?), but when we went in, they pretty much said that OTC pregnancy tests today are extremely accurate, so they just proceeded on the assumption that I really was pregnant--much to Jay's dismay.  I'm not sure he was entirely convinced until we had our first ultra-sound, but at that point, there was no doubt, we had a little Perry on the way!

We told my mom first, on my insistence--Jay wanted to wait, but I was freaking out about every little twinge, so I wanted her to know so that I could ask her questions and calm myself down.  We took Wake to the beach over Christmas break and told him while we could have him one-on-one to answer any questions he might have.  The three (well, I guess, technically four) of us went out to dinner, and Jay broke the news.  We weren't sure what Wake would think about the whole thing, but I have never seen him smile so big! He was so excited, and that made us all the more excited! We told Jay's family on Christmas Eve and the rest of my family on Christmas Day.  As a matter of fact, we drove to SC in a snowstorm so that we could share the news with my family. In hindsight, not our brightest idea, by the way, but we made it.

It's hard to believe that on that day when I told Jay we had a baby on the way that Arwen was only about the size of a poppy seed.  Look at her now!


  1. LOVE this! Thanks for sharing such a happy story! Arwen is just beautiful and getting so big! The Carolina outfit works just as great on a girl!!!So happy for your whole family.

    1. Thanks, Laurie! She is getting big! I can't believe she is 8 months old today. Where does the time go? I think the outfit works for a girl, but I have to admit that when I took her out in it, she was mistaken for a boy multiple times, despite her pinks blankets and carrier. Oh, well! I'll just have to get a big Carolina blue bow to put in her hair! LOL!